Scenario: You are trying to sleep, but your neighbor is throwing a wild party and their music is extremely loud. This is the fourth night this week that you've gotten little to no sleep because of the noise.
This is an example of interpersonal conflict which is defined as a struggle among a small number of interdependent people (you and your neighbor) arising from perceived interference (loud music) with goal achievement (sleep). It comes under the category of an internal conflict because an individual (you) feels a struggle between personal goals (sleep) and someone else's actions (neighbor's loud music-playing). The particular goal-type that is perceived to be interfered with is a process goal because the discrepancy is about how things should be done.
Solution: There are four steps to expressing anger in NVC.
1. Stop. Breathe
2. Identify your judgmental thoughts (My neighbor is so inconsiderate and loud).
3. Connect with our needs behind the thoughts (I really need to get some sleep/I really need some peace and quiet).
4. Express our feelings and unmet needs (Hey neighbor, would you be willing to turn the music down? I'm needing to get some sleep, but can't when the music is turned up.)
By expressing anger through NVC, you were able to transform your anger and judgmental thoughts into unmet needs and requests to meet those needs.
No comments:
Post a Comment